Category Archives: The Missus

A Treatise on Filth

Indeed there are the days when a laid-off dad has too much time on his hands even after the hours of cover-letter editing, resume-tweaking, opportunity-poring, and reading of cautionary tales on how everything you’re doing to look for a job is wrong and what today’s now and with-it hiring managers are looking for are these other things over here which will be the wrong things by this time next week. And so he cleans.

This isn’t one of those days. Or one of those weeks.

That’s because this week Noodle, Beast and She all have a week off from school – and then some because of this past winter’s complete lack of snow days. So because the kids and their friends and the three cats have been in and out of the house tracking March Mudness all over the place, I’ve come down with a thorough case of the Ah-Screw-Its, and I’ve passed it on to She, who might have some space there under that blanket on the couch where she’s watching one of the Hunger Games movies.

Or so I thought, because She read this over my shoulder and now it’s time to reacquaint myself with my old pal Mr. Hoover and his friends Sponge and Swiffer.

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Say “Hi” To My Unhealthy Obsession

Pie.

You may have seen it referred to elsewhere on this site because She can create pies that send me and the kids into dizzying heights of comfort-food ecstasy.

I bring it up now because this is British Pie Week and what with the weekend upon us, I need some good new begging strategies that will persuade my beloved She to summon up some pie-baking juju. Feel free to share your theories.

Also, it’s nearly March 14 a/k/a Pi Day.

In Which The GOP Reaches Out To Future Voters

Full disclosure: I try to keep my political-junkie activity quarantined elsewhere on the internet but once a newsguy always a newsguy. But still…dayum, guys – what in Sam Hill was that middle school locker room mess last night?

This morning I awoke to a discussion between Noodle and Beast that was vastly more substantive:

Noodle: Well, at least when I was 2 and ran outside naked, I didn’t pee in the storm drain!

Beast: Oh, yeah? At least I don’t pick my nose and eat the boogers!

Dad: Already this is a more mature discussion than the Republican debate last night.

Noodle: Wait…who’s running?

Did she just…ask a serious question about…a grown-ups’ topic?

The school bus was due to arrive in 20 minutes, so I put off the secret silent parental fist-pump hooray that she and her brother were taking an interest in how we’re governed, but they did get the ten-cent walkthrough on how the presidential nomination process goes. This led to a mostly non-indoctrinatory discussion of who represents us in Washington, although She and I did say we thought our current congressman and possible future governor was one of the few good-guy standouts, and that Dad got to interview him several times and came away mightily impressed, and She added that pretty much the only other time Dad was more of a shameless fanboy on the job was that one time in 2007 at the Genesis reunion-tour press conference.

Now comes the difficult part: demonstrating to our offspring that while the two parties have presented us with thoroughly disappointing choices at the national level, it’s not like they’re the ones in charge of plowing the streets, making sure the village park is tidy, and ensuring a proper level of gnarliness at the village skate ramp.

Dad is going to have to raise his civic-duty game.