You know my son by any chance? Because I’ve done this.
We’re helping Little Brother* out with geology this evening, and as we move into the unit on volcanos we have found it impossible to say the word “magma” unless we use Dr. Evil voice.
Which is problematic at present, since Little Brother isn’t quite old enough for Austin Powers movies.
At least it gives me a chance to introduce Little Brother to some awesome DadTuneage:
* – He’s not Annoying Little Brother at present because Little Sister is on a class trip to Washington DC. The two will resume using Annoying when they reunite at the conclusion of her field trip.
“No, darling – I haven’t seen the booger cauldron in a while.”
Halloween is Monday, so it’s like this, kids:
You can do your homework and your chores and not give Mom an attitude about the slightest bit of it, or you can go to school on Tuesday knowing that all your classmates who stopped by to trick-or-treat got toothbrushes and pencils.
Mainly how to say “Put that down. You’ll break it” in French.
“Can I have ice cream?”
“Yes, you may.”
“Is there mint chip?”
“Yes, there is.”
“Is it green mint chip?”
“No, it’s white mint chip.”
…the Mom will need a freshly-painted wall to go with it.
Re-painting the wall means re-painting the ceiling, and re-painting the ceiling means re-painting the hallway, but re-painting the hallway means the kitchen cabinets have to be re-finished to match the new living room walls, leaving the kitchen walls matching nothing – so they’ll have to be re-painted, of course. And then the appliances won’t match anything even though they’re black and Dad thought black went with everything but apparently that’s not the case, so since you can’t paint a fridge or a stove or a dishwasher, they’ll all have to be replaced with new models, and that’s going to take up quite a bit of time. Still, while we’re getting the dishwasher we might as well look into fixing up the water softener or installing a whole-house filter, but that’ll require getting down into the crawl space and re-arranging everything, meaning the spring cleaning we didn’t want to start until it was feeling more like spring outside is going to have to happen anyway, and ultimately we’ll get around to watching that new TV just in time for it to need replacing.
Which means we might as well re-paint the living room wall.
So it’s El Niño that’s responsible for the wet-but-pretty-much-snowless winter we’ve had here in the northeast?
Poppycock, nonsense, balderdash and twaddle, I say.
I wrecked winter.
Here’s what happened: back in November, She and I debated whether or not to spend $300 on snow-blower repairs, or hope the old warhorse held on for one more winter. Ultimately, we decided to spend the benjamins, especially since local long-range forecasts were calling for a colder-than-normal winter with above-average snowfall.
Yeah, about that.
So today, the start of a week where temperatures are expected to hit the 70’s, I’m looking longingly at the potential of opening up about 15 square feet of valuable garage dadspace – yes, moving the snowblower (and her significant other the generator) out to the shed for summer storage, along with the snow shovels, roof rake, and mostly unused ice melter.
I’m thinking that once that’s done, a nice fat 1993-style March blizzard should hit. This would delight my kids, especially if the snow came during the upcoming spring break since they wouldn’t lose any of the extra days off that have popped onto the calendar thanks to their school district only using maybe one snow day this winter.
So I throw it open to you: do I move the equipment out to the shed and taunt the weather spirits, or leave things as is until the vernal equinox and risk a situation where I’m moving the stuff out to the shed on some freakishly warm and humid spring day?
Noodle should be pleased today – she’s getting a taste of freedom and a better glimpse at the future adult Noodle, after a couple years of having her teeth shifted about by means of nasty, goop-magnet metal bands. No amount of “you know, it could have been worse” or “you should have seen what they did back in the day – they used to use animal intestines” was useful in stemming her annoyance; only time sufficed for that.
She wants corn on the cob and gummis for lunch after the first of today’s two orthodontist visit. We’ll see how that goes – watch the space below for updates.
Time for Noodle and Beast to hit the hay.
I did not show this to them before they nodded off.